The Morning After
by Rhimari
Summary: She gave without asking, comitted without assurance... Kagome claimed her love for InuYasha was boundless, he can't help but push her limits. InuYashaKagome.
1. Prologue: Bittersweet

_To love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person. _

_- Eric Fromm_

"Oi."

My eye-lids felt like they'd been glued shut, there was no way I was opening them. Some idiot had incredible timing. I'd been amazingly comfortable moments before the voice had spoken, a cozy sensation flooding every vein in my body. My toes had been cold, bare and kissed with morning dew as they were, but that little fact could be overlook. It had felt so amazingly right, so comfortable, so… home.

Yes, that was the only sensation I could think to compare my previous composure to; the feeling of waking up late in the morning wrapped in a downy blanket while the world raged on outside the window. Except for a padded, pillow top mattress I had a beaten down patch of meadow and my fluffy comforter was a rough haori dyed an amazing red. Might not sound like the lap of luxury but it was one-up on my bedroom. That's right, because I had the added warmth of the strong body curled up next to mind. And better yet, there were no clothes to hinder in the heat exchange.

Wait, double take. No clothes?

That's right Kagome. Clothes tend to hinder certain actives, better to get rid of them completely, ne? No… it was way to early for sarcasm. It was way to early to even consider putting together a logical thought, much less digest all the images pouring into my poor, sleep clogged brain. But reality refused to wait.

No. Way. In. Hell.

The memories that had been a painful blur were suddenly clear as my face exploded into a horrible blush. It was beyond belief, although I couldn't deny what I knew to be true. I mean, the facts have been set up amazingly; lying naked in a clearing with equally naked arms wrapped around my form and a suspicious soreness that was not cramps coming for a certain area…. No arguing with that. But why would anyone, much less Him, want to do _that_ with _me_? I mean, I'm just Kagome, Kagome the shard detector, Kagome the Kikyo replication, Kagome who's always in the way, Kagome the… need I go on?

A horrible thought struck me and I felt my body stiffen, the action eliciting a growl of disapproval from my companion.

Maybe InuYasha hadn't realized what he was doing last night. And now, when he woke up like this, next to me, he would be furious. Gods, he would hate me for this. My heart sped up and I began to shake. Jewel of no jewel he'd leave, leave and never come back. I could already see the disgust that would line his face…

"Oi, I know you're awake. You got all tense." His voice, coupled with the hand cupping my face firmly, forced the lids off my eyes. I blinked hesitantly, noting that the sun had not yet inched over the horizon, before attempting to focus on the blurry shape before me.

Amber eyes were staring back.

Wow was he close. A startled 'eep' broke from my throat before I could control myself and I jerked backwards. It was going to take some time to get used to an InuYasha who disregarded person-space boundaries, but who could blame me? He'd been the one so against touching in the first place.

InuYasha was being his usual stubborn self. Not allowing me an inch, his hand tightened and held me firmly in place. He turned my face, forcing me to meet those amazingly intense eyes again, eyes that were, as always, unreadable. I shivered in the morning air.

"Do you regret it?"

Inside, I couldn't help but chuckle. Leave it to InuYasha to cut straight to the point without any show of tact.

His eyes were on me still, delving instantly into my own without giving me any clue as to how he wanted that question answered. As the seconds ticked by, I became increasingly aware of our situation. His haori covered the bulk of my form but him… he was completely exposed with little of his form left to the imagination. Not that I needed to imagine, seeing as how I'd gotten a full view…. I felt the blush running down my neck and spreading across my shoulders. Focus, Kagome!

The hand holding my chin tightened ever so slightly, enough to make me uncomfortable without hurting the soft skin there. Obviously, InuYasha wanted his answer. Impatient jerk.

"Why… why would I regret it?" slipped from my mouth before I realized I'd even moved my lips. Okay, I guess I'm telling the truth… But what other option was there? InuYasha might hate me for it, but Gods help me I could not lie about last night. It was… amazing.

"Because you're Kagome," he replied as if that explained everything. "You're a hell of a lot smarter than I'll ever be and you have a family on the other side of the well. Why you'd even consider being with someone like me…" Realizing that he was rambling, the words stopped flowing. "Keh, not that I give a damn whether you do or not…"

My heart went out to him, it really did. His insecurities shouldn't have surprised me, given the little I know about his past relationships, but they did. I'll admit it hurt a little; after everything we'd shared in the past, after all the assurance I'd given him, he still doubted me. Not exactly me, I suppose, but the world in particular. I smiled. It took all my courage, but I lifted one had to touch his face and was surprised when he didn't pull away. He has amazingly smooth skin, but that probably had to do with his youkai ancestry.

"I could never regret last night, InuYasha," I told him solemnly. "I've never experienced anything so wonderful, I wouldn't trade it for anything."

He nodded, a satisfied, almost smug look passing over his features. "And what about what you told me, did you mean that?"

What I told him… Kami, could I have dug myself any deeper? I felt myself blanch as it came rolling back to me. I told him I loved him. How could I have let such a thing slip? Okay, obvious, but that didn't make it better. They were well known, my feelings for the hanyou, but that didn't change the fact that I actually admitted it to him, right before falling asleep in his warm arms.

And he hadn't said a word in return.

"I meant it," I whispered back. I can't bare to look at him, which he is anything but happy about and I have to forcibly pry his hands off my face. "You know I wouldn't say something like that if it weren't true. I… I love you."

So what if I was condemning myself to heart break? He seemed to be taking it all well enough and I'd been needing to get these emotions off my chest for a long time. Yeah right, I'm just a masochist in disguise.

His reply was a nod. A nod, for Gods sake, after I spill my deepest emotions. True, that half-smile softening his face was adorable, but honestly! I watched as his eyes went slightly glassy and he snuggled more firmly against my body, pressing his nose into my neck and losing himself to his own thoughts.

I don't know what I expected, I really don't, but it wasn't this. Some part of me, I realized, had hoped he would return my confession after everything we'd shared. But minutes passed and no words came… I don't know why I was so disappointed. It was nothing new, I tried to tell myself as my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. What was I expecting, honestly? InuYasha's heart rests with Kikyo, I know this! He cares about me, sure, but he'd bound to her. And yet I'd gone and put myself into such a situation, spilling my deepest and most carefully guarded secretes. I was an idiot, an idiot that didn't feel like being held any more. That's right, the embrace that had been so comforting before turned constricting. But I couldn't squirm away from him, he'd know something was wrong and get upset, so I resigned to drop my head to his bare chest instead. I'd do what I do best, just wait it out.

His hand found it's way back into my hair, tangling gently in a soothing motion. A gentle kiss landed on my cheek and I jumped, even more surprised by the following tickle of breath against my ear as he spoke.

"I can't say words like that, Kagome," he admitted, sounding almost pained although there was really no way to tell with InuYasha.. "They always end up turning around and biting me in the ass. When I've said crap like that… people have died because I said those words."

I nodded, not trusting my words. It hurt, it hurt worse than anything I'd ever experienced to know he'd been thinking of Kikyo just then, thinking of the dead priestess as he held me in his arms. Had he imagined her last night as well? I couldn't help but wonder, although it was entirely unfair. Had he thought of her when I confessed my feelings to him? Everything was so incredibly unjust.

Oh crap. The thought of Kikyo was a fail-safe way to evoke one of two emotions; unimaginable sorrow or a burning anger that could jostle even Sesshomaru's stoic mask. What's the contestant's choice? It seems to be door number one!

The tears were coming, I could feel the familiar pressure building behind my eyes.. _Stop, stop, stop!_ I cried inside my head, but it was no use. A single small droplet fell from my eye, followed by another, both of which plopped solidly down onto his chest.

InuYasha had continued talking, oblivious as usual to my little breakdown until it was too late. "…And so I… shit!" The salt-scent and feel of liquid on his skin jerked him from his reserve and he panicked, his eyes growing huge as he gripped my shoulders and gave me a firm shake. "You lied to me, didn't you? You do regret what happened! Why didn't you fucking say so in the first place!"

"I don't!" I cried out desperately, jerking my head up to meet his eyes. Big mistake, it only let him see the tears that were obviously building. Well, there was no stopping what I'd started so I might as well go with it…

His eyes were wide with fear, uncertainty, and guilt, those beautiful ears pinned back against his head. "Then why the hell are you crying!"

"I… because it's not fair!"

Did I just say that? It would appear Foot-In-Mouth is a side effect of intimacy. Who would've thought?

"What?"

I had to pause for a second and take a handful of deep breathes, calming myself before I said too much. The cool morning air soothed my stinging eyes, something I was thankful for, along with my flaring emotions. I couldn't loose my control, it wasn't fair to him. This was as much my fault as it was his, it was time I took responsibility for my actions.

I'm so mature it makes me sick.

A highly practiced smile appeared on my face, the smile that I hate so much because it's so phony and holds no hint of real happiness. Unfortunately, it seems to pop up more and more often these days. "It's nothing, don't worry."

A clawed hand brushed my face, taking hold of my chin again ever so gently. This was all so new to me, but I couldn't deny I liked the change that came over him. He seemed so calm and collected, and the way he treated me… so gently, as if I'd break if handled roughly. Might as well enjoy it, I chided sarcastically, it won't be lasting long.

I let InuYasha turn my face into the morning light, watched as he scrutinized it carefully. "Why are you looking at me like that?" he wondered after a while, confused and hurt. "You only look at me like that after I see Kik…" Realization dawned. "What does she have to do with any of this?"

"I'm not holding you to anything," I told him, trying to sound nonchalant as I pushed his hands gently off my face. It was taking all my concentration to remain calm, having him touch me would only make it worse. "You've made it clear that you love Kikyo, not me. Don't worry, I'm not naïve enough to think last night changed any of that."

He blinked, staring at me in disbelief.

The air left my lungs in a rush and I gasped, the hard ground below me cutting into my back along with the added weight perched on my stomach. InuYasha was glaring down at me, his hands pinning my shoulders. The haori had been dislodged sometime in the struggle, slipping off one shoulder to reveal a little more of my chest that I was comfortable with. Not that I should be complaining, InuYasha was a lot more… exposed than I was at this point.

"You stupid bitch," he scolded, annoyed and dead serious. "What happened last night was _special_! Kikyo wasn't the person I chose to share it with, you were. Doesn't that tell you anything?"

I really wasn't sure, but who could blame me. I'd watched him run to the dead miko's side one too many times to believe such words.

"Kagome." He called my attention to his face. "Kagome, if she comes to me again, I won't leave you."

"Of course not, InuYasha," I replied, my tone light although I was unable to hide the dubious undertones but again, my disbelief was merited.

Anger clouded his face. "I won't, Kagome. Why won't you believe me?"

"Have you really given me any reason to?"

It was true, he hadn't and InuYasha knew this. The hanyou's brow creased in thought. "I swear on Tetsu…mph!"

My hand flew to his mouth the moment his sword's name began to form on his lips. I knew InuYasha wasn't one to take such promises lightly. If he swore on the sword he wouldn't leave me than I knew he wouldn't, no matter how much sorrow such a promise would cause him in the future, especially when he had given the same vow to another woman.

"Don't!" I cried out immediately. "Please, don't make promises you'll regret keeping."

His ears drooped, revealing the hurt he was feeling. "I want you to understand what I can't say…" he whispered dejectedly.

"That's impossible," I answered, taking pity on him and lightly rubbing his right ear until it perked back up. That was my InuYasha… I knew he wasn't good with words or emotions, the first of which was probably eluding him with the second was making his head a muddled mess. An involuntary sigh wrenched itself from my throat and I squirmed under him, trying to sit up. If we were going to be having such a serious conversation, it would probably be better if I were in a less… compromising position.

But dog boy was having none of that. Seeing as how I would not be convincing him to move any time soon, I let out another sigh and relaxed against the ground, still rubbing his ear as my other hand entwined with his. "How about this, InuYasha? We'll say that last night happened and you're here with me now, okay? No promises past that."

I couldn't see his face, but he tensed suddenly, ears twitching madly. "Does that mean you're leaving me?" He wondered.

"InuYasha… what did I tell you that time?"

"That you wanted to stay with me. But just now you said…" Understanding flashed across his face, followed by a deep frown. That a boy, I knew he'd get it. Eventually. "You meant me, didn't you? Damn it, bitch, how many times do I have to repeat myself! I don't like this double standard!"

I simply shook my head patiently, absently playing with a strand of his hair. I love the color, and the texture… so beautiful. "It's not that big of a deal," I lied, still smiling softly. It was, it really was and I think we both knew it.

That statement only increased his displeasure.

"Is there a spring around here?" I wondered suddenly. The tension really was becoming too much, that and I wasn't interesting in pursuing this conversation any longer. "I'd really love to get washed up before we head back. I'm sure the others are pretty worried."

He didn't respond, his eyes scanned over my face skeptically before giving a soft grunt and rolling off me. "Keh, you and your damn springs." But he seemed more amused than upset as he stood and stretched, blinking absently as his nose worked furiously. I found if quite cute and couldn't keep the smile off my face, watching as his ear twitched wildly in the early morning breeze. Kami do I love those ears.

By the time he finally turned his attention back onto me, I had shrugged into his haori and tied the sleeves securely around my waste. My clothes… let's just say there were enough left of them to worry about. "Any luck?" I wondered, trying to keep my wandering eyes above his waste-line.

He nodded absently, eyes looking me over as a satisfied little smirk passed over his face. "There's one near enough, I'll take you," he offered, slipping into his bottoms and bundling the rest of his undershirt for the journey. I saw him make a move towards what was left of my skirt but shook my head. No use in picking it up… not when clothes were biodegradable.

"C'mon, what're you waiting for?" he demanded, waving me over when I didn't move fast enough for his liking. Seconds later, I was situated in a comfortable (if not slightly compromising) position atop his back and we were flying through the trees.

The trip was a silent one, which was a blessing in it's self. Too much had happened in the past twelve hours for my liking, my brain was still frazzled and the quiet time gave me time to go over all the thoughts ping-ponging around in my head. I would still need to do _a lot_ more thinking, mind you, but at least it was a start.

The spring was distant and secluded, I didn't realize it was there until InuYasha set me carefully on the sandy ground beside the water. It was small yet beautiful in it's simplicity, not a hot spring but I was certain the cold water would erase the flushed, giddy feeling that had crept over me on the trip here.

InuYasha accepted my mummered thanks in his usual indifferent manner. He disappeared into the tress surrounding the stream, presumably to give me my privacy, and I let out a large breath I didn't realize I'd been holding.

Taking another wary glance around (why I was so concerned about him seeing me naked after last night was a mystery), I let the haori slide from my shoulders. The water was just as cold as I'd expected, but despite the chill sweeping through my body, I forged diligently forward.

I was stomach high in icy water when I heard the brush rustle behind me. Feet squished on the sandy bank as I heard a heavy object drop into the sand. "I brought those soaps for you."

Part of my mind couldn't help smiling at his thoughtfulness. We were a way from camp and I knew he wouldn't leave me alone during a venerable activity like bathing. So that meant he hadn't left, he'd stashed my bag sometime before hand instead so I could have my bath. His concern was endearing… But the other part of my mind… the other part was screaming in outrage.

"InuYasha!" I heard my own breathless hiss, weak and pitiful; if the man watching me hadn't had super-sensitive hearing, I'm sure he would have missed it. My feet were moving without direction and I had just enough time to throw my hands up to hide my chest before I was facing him.

His gold eyes were piercing, lined with confusion. "What the hell's your problem?" he demanded.

I didn't answer, couldn't, so he continued to stare. It seemed like ages that was stood there, gazes locked, and it was he who looked away first. There must have been something in my eyes that he didn't like, some emotion he misinterpreted, because his entire frame stiffed and his callous mask flew back into place.

"Keh. Alright, I'm leaving. You don't need my dirty eyes on you any more than you need my dirty hands touching you."

His comment stopped my heart. Anger and hurt flooded my system like adrenaline; how could he write-off my feelings for him so quickly? How, when I'd been nothing but open and honest, did he doubt me? If anyone had the right to be questioning feelings and motives it was me, what with Kikyo and all.

But I still couldn't let him leave, I refused to turn my back on him as so many before me had. I won't lie and say his doubt didn't hurt me because it did, but it's just one on the long line of emotional blows I've taken for him. InuYasha had more inner demons than anyone I've ever met, and rightly so. He was irritating, insensitive, stubborn, and high maintenance, but Gods help me, I loved him with all my heart.

"InuYasha, you know that's not true."

"Keh," he responded, but refused to turn around and look me in the face. Still, he didn't keep walking so I had to have made some progress.

I sighed and steeled myself as I took the next step. Modesty be damned, I walked from the pool and onto the shore, pause just behind him. His right ear twitch in my direction, I knew I had his attention. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to sound like that."

"Damn, Kagome, don't apologize."

"No," I insisted, "It was because I was embarrassed that I… that I hid myself. I'm not used to this kind of intimacy, it's still new to me." I smiled nervously and moved one hand up to touch his arm, feeling the coarse, white fabric. "I don't mind you looking at me," I told him shyly, squeezing his arm. "And… and I don't mind you touching me. I don't mind at all."

His ears perked, I could feel the tremors that were racing through his body. "Kagome…" his voice sounded strangled somehow, pained. "Kagome… can I turn around?"

I nodded then, realizing he couldn't see me, managed as small sound of affirmation.

Ever so slowly he turned, giving me every chance to change my mind, for which I was grateful. When he stood, finally, facing me, I felt a hot blush rise to my face, spreading down my face and over other… parts.

His hand found my face, touching my cheek with incredible tenderness. The expression in his eyes… it was the same expression he had worn last night, soft, almost loving, with an underlying glaze of passion. "You have every right to deny me, Kagome," he said, voice brushing against my face.

"I know," I replied, surprised my mind could form words. "I know, but I won't."

I love you, InuYasha. I could never deny you anything… 


	2. By Morning's Light

**The Morning After**

Chapter 2: By Morning's Light 

"Kagome…"

She's lost in a doze, mouth slightly open as her head rests against my shoulder. I know she'd wake at the slightest sound or movement, her senses have improved in the years we've been traveling together, improved quite a bit for a weak human. Overhead the sun peers through the clouds, it's almost midday. The letch and Sango are probably worried… hell, they were probably worried last night when we didn't come back from our little talk.

"Idiots," I smirk, basking in this new feeling. They had no reason to worry about Kagome when she was with me, they should know better than to think I'd let anything harm her.

Alive with power, I flex the arm Kagome isn't using as a pillow, watching my claws glint in the light. "Just let the bastards try, I'll rip them to pieces!" . I'm invincible; I know I could take on the world and win if I had to, I….

"You make a terrible pillow when you twitch around like that."

Sleepy eyes were looking up at me, narrowed in mock annoyance. Snorting, I pin her with a dubious expression. "And who said I was here for your personal enjoyment?"

"Jerk." Kagome made a show of putting most of her weight on her hands as she pushed off my chest and onto her knees. A slight flinch ran jolted her body, my ears twitched at the distressed gasp that barely escaped her lips.

I rolled to a sitting position, reaching for her immediately. "Kagome?"

She managed to fend off my hands while pulling on her blouse. "It's nothing. I'm just a little sore, that's all?"

"Sore?"

"Yeah sore," she rolls her eyes, searching the area for her skirt. "You were quite… enthusiastic."

I frown at that. Yes, things moved quicker at the stream than they had last night. I was more confident, more experienced than the first time… but I hadn't stopped to consider that my "enthusiasm" might have hurt her. "Kagome…"

Quizzical, her eyes turn to meet mine. With a shake of her head, she zips the skirt in place and kneels before me. "I'm fine," she assures me softly, one hand coming up to rub my dropping ear. It sends a shock of comfort through my system and I immediately relax. "In fact, I enjoyed it."

Her head drops as a blush creeps across her face. Seeing it, I smirk with pride.

_For me…_

Sighing, Kagome gives my ear one last caress before launching herself to her feet. "Come on, I'm sure the others are worried."

* * *

"Ohayou minna!"

The monk and demon slayer turned at the voice, breathing a collective sigh of relief. Kagome looked to be healthy and unhurt as she emerged from the forest, wet hair gleaming in the late-morning sun. More than healthy, she was unusually bubbly with a content smile blooming across her face and joy radiating from her person. Sango's eyes narrowed in concentration.

A self-satisfied hanyou emerged just steps behind her, his red clothing jumping suddenly from the shadows of the forest. He carried the enormous yellow pack over one shoulder and, stealing glimpse in Kagome's direction, a smirk drew up the corners of his mouth.

_For me_, he realized, as he watched the joyful bounce in her step. It was unfathomable, he never thought he'd find himself in such an intimate situation, and Kagome's initial reaction had scared him shitless. They were both uncertain, he saw that now and accepted it, but the thought that she might regret what had happened… He squashed the thought, Kagome made it clear she was more that willing, there was no point mulling over his misconceptions now.

InuYasha still wasn't convinced that all this was real. Hell, he'd had such bad luck with Kagome from the beginning, what with his death-threats over the jewel and insults born of wounded pride. Add in Kikyo's resurrection and it was no wonder he had a knack for making the raven-haired girl cry. But today… this morning the radiant look on her face was because of him, for him. He'd never felt lighter, never experienced a greater feeling of joy at seeing her smile…

_Damn wench is turning me into a pansy…_he grimaced mentally, but not even that could spoil his mood.

She was watching him, he realized as he jerked back into reality. The smile was still there but her eyes were uncertain. Kagome had stopped walking and was holding out her hand to him, hope in her eyes as she waited. It wasn't an unreasonable request, but it was pretty much an unspoken rule that no affection was to be shown in front of the rest of the group.

Screw that, Kagome deserved better.

Giving her a hesitant smile, he took the offered hand, wrapped his callused fingers carefully around hers in a firm grip. She grinned, mouth cracking wider than before, and came closer, leaning into his shoulder affectionately.

Sango cleared her through, drawing the couple's attention to the serious expression adorning the faces of the remaining members of the group.

"Sango-chan… is everything alright?" Kagome wondered, frowning in concern.

The warrior meet her gaze calmly, sadness and pity bleeding into her large black eyes. She was determined as she approached her younger friend, each step carefully measured and executed. "Kagome-chan…"

Something inside InuYasha, an instinct incomprehensible to his human mind, cried out in warning. He tried to silence it with reason. Sango was a friend and trusted traveling companion, she meant no harm and had no ill intent. He believed this, fully and completely, but something about the emotions going through the woman's eyes put him on guard. His hand tensed around Kagome's before he realized his actions.

Sango's acute eyes caught the movement and she stopped, eyeing him warily. The woman was well versed in youkai habits, she'd be damned if such a possessive action didn't inspire caution. "Kagome-chan, last night… last night did you consummate your relationship with InuYasha."

The carefully worded question released something primal. InuYasha balled his free hand into a painfully hard fist, but that didn't stop the growled comment from escaping his lips. "And what if she did!" he snapped, daring her to challenge the action.

Kagome was dumbfounded. She stared as she digested the full implication of her friend's words. Why was Sango looking at her as if her coupling with InuYasha was something shameful and dirty? She couldn't possibly be that closed minded, could she? "I did… why do you ask?"

"Oh Kagome-chan…"

Inuyasha froze; his body went absolutely stiff in response to the look in the slayer's eyes. He'd seen it before, in the faces of the courtiers who'd looked upon his mother, the fallen hime with the bastard hanyou son. There had been pity for her fate, disgust at him, the product, anger at his father for his daring, and fear. Fear above all else, to go near one so tainted.

_No… they would not do this to me, they would not turn on me because of such prejudice._ But they had, and did, because Sango was now glaring at him and poorly masked disgusted lined Miroku's serene face.

Well screw them, he didn't need either of them. As long as he had Kagome things would be fine… Kagome. They'd try to turn her against him, try to take her away from the filthy half-breed. He couldn't take that, no. Kagome loved him. Kagome promised to stay by his side, always…

InuYasha brought his arm around her waist, pinning her firmly to his side and out of Sango's sight. A wave of intense possessiveness overcame him, a feeling he usually only experienced around Kouga. She was his, no one would take her.

"What's that matter, Sango-chan?" Kagome wondered. The arms around her tightened, she tried her best to be neutral in the situation until she discovered the true nature of the situation.

Sango just shook her head, smiling sadly as she chewed her bottom lip. She was eyeing InuYasha carefully as she took another step towards the couple, arms stretched out as if to embrace the younger girl. But the hanyou was having none of that. He began to growl, viciously, and threw himself between the two females. "Stay back!"

The slayer frowned, quirking an eyebrow as all the compassion melted from her face. Her lithe form stiffened in preparation for a fight as she glared him down. "Get away from her."

Amber eyes flashed. "There's no way in hell…"

"InuYasha," Miroku's voice rang out, calm and commanding as always although his eyes were anything but serene. "We want nothing more than to assure Kagome-sama's well being."

He was horrified. "I'd never hurt her!"

Sango snorted and the growling started up again.

A soft hand found his arm and, absorbing the soothing presence of the girl beside him, InuYasha tried to quiet the noise into a barely audible rumble. Kagome was gazing towards the monk.

"Inu-Yasha didn't hurt me, Miroku-sama."

He bowed his dark head in acknowledgement. "I'm glad to hear that, but there's something I need to confirm if you could come over here."

InuYasha tensed again, readying himself for the worst, but she was too preoccupied to notice. Miroku was calm, too calm. Something was wrong.

"Okay," she agreed after a few moments of tense silence. It was a chore finding her way out of InuYasha's vice-like grip, but she managed and, upon regaining her freedom, took one his larger hands in her own and took a step forward. The bewildered expression on his face stopped her. "Inu Yasha?"

He couldn't speak, mesmerized as he was by the implication of that one simple gesture. She wasn't rejecting him, she was defending him in the face of their companions… He gulped. So many strange and unfamiliar emotions were coursing through his brain he wasn't quite sure how to respond. So he didn't, not verbally, and gave her hand a gentle squeeze before leading her forward.

"No funny business, letch." He warned gruffly, standing beside Kagome with crossed arms.

The attempt to lighten the mood did nothing and Miroku's face remained serious. "Hold out your hands please, Kagome-sama."

"A…alright…"

The monk's face creased in concentration as he held both his hands over her outstretched palm, muttering prayers. A glow engulfed his hands, spiritual power manifested, and engulfed Kagome's slender fingers. It hovered there for seconds before dissipating. Miroku sighed deeply.

"It is just as I feared."

Behind him, Sango looked away, eyes clenched painfully. Inu Yasha felt his heart beat quicken until the pounding was almost painful. Discreetly, he tested the air. Kagome didn't seem to smell much different, aside from the obvious presence of his own scent. It was still the same, light and fresh with an underlying current of… Crap!

He was so shocked he jolted visibly. Her scent was missing something, the tang of power that signaled the presence of her miko abilities. And the absence of that could only mean one thing.

The monk nodded in his direction. "You figured it out, InuYasha?" he wondered, coldly. "Then perhaps you'd care to explain the difference in Kagome-sama's scent since you were the cause…"

"Shut the hell up!" He was frantic, terrified, and furious all at once. It was correct to assume he knew that something like this would happen, thinking back on it now the result was obvious. But it had never occurred to him in terms of Kagome….

He didn't know how she'd react. At best she'd be furious but forgive him eventually. At worst… he didn't want to think about worst case.

She was looking up at him when he regained his wits, eyes wide with worry but a patient smile painting her face. That was such a Kagome action.

InuYasha couldn't stand to look at her. He couldn't stand seeing the gentle persistence there, the honesty, the understanding that would soon be wiped from her face. Everything was building too quickly around him. He couldn't take it anymore, so he reacted the only way he knew how.

"InuYasha!" Kagome yelled after the retreating red blur, shocked at his sudden retreat. Her eyes fell to Miroku, questions obvious.

"Coward." Sango spat softly, staring after his form in disgust.

Standing alone, Kagome shook her head. "He's not," she replied, worried. Still, she gave her friend a small smile that softened the scolding light in her eyes. "He's anything but, Sango-chan. You know that. He's just confused… and scared. I am too."

The soft sincerity in the younger girl's eyes spoke to something within Sango. She sighed, shaking her head as the anger drained from her body. "I'm sorry Kagome-chan, I just never thought him capable of… _this._ There was no way he couldn't have known…"

Casting her friend a concerned look, Kagome frowned. "What is "this", exactly?"

Sango turned her head in evasion. Miroku quickly stepped in.

"Kagome-sama, do you sense any shards?"

"No…" She replied dubiously.

He was watching her expectantly, only to sigh seconds later. "Alright, please hold out your hands. I would like you to manifest your powers physically, as I believe Kaede-sama had taught you."

"Alright, I suppose…"

Secretly, Kagome was growing annoyed with her friends and this guarded atmosphere. Their strange behavior worried them, then with InuYasha running off… she wanted nothing more than to go after him, but something told her figuring out the problem at hand was more important.

She closed her eyes as she'd been taught and visualized her powers, waiting for the black and white mental image to zoom to life, the signal that her powers were ready to be used. But nothing happened. Blaming it on distraction, she ordered herself focus, but when even that failed to work, she felt the first inklings of panic creep into her brain.

"Kagome-sama, that's enough."

Miroku's voice cut through the impending chaos and her eyes snapped open, focusing on the sorrow in his eyes. "I can't call my powers."

He nodded, shaking his head. "Because they no longer exist, Kagome-sama."

The bottom dropped out of her stomach, she could think of no words to say as she grasped frantically at what had been said.

Sango watched her sadly. "Miko and youkai were never meant to mate, Kagome-chan. It's a sad truth, the consequences of which are widely known."

Her mind felt numb, she fought the fog as she tried to form an intelligent reply. "So, does that mean…"

"Hai, Kagome-sama," Miroku answered, solemn. "You are no longer a miko."

* * *

Looking back on it, InuYasha realized he had been less than discreet. His head had been, and still was, a tangled mess of anger, sorrow, and guilt above all else. There was no way he could be expected to think straight given the situation.

He meant to go in stealth, leaving no way for the others to follow him, and never return again. It was the least he could do- at least he wouldn't be fucking Kagome's life up any further. But he couldn't handle it, so he lashed out. InuYasha cut a path of destruction through the forest, leveling trees and boulders alike as he dashed blindly forward.

Perhaps that was why she was able to find him as easily as she did

He caught her scent first, just the briefest wisp carried to him on the breeze. A thousand emotions assaulted him at once- their was pride at the underlying "him-ness" to her smell, a pang of worry at her being out alone. As his mind caught up with his senses, he was, of course, overwhelmed by guilt by the complete lack of a pulsating smell, that of her miko powers.

Thoughts of escape filled his mind. InuYasha knew she wouldn't be able to catch up if he bolted, not with her human speed and endurance, but he also realized how very vulnerable she was. If he left her alone, unprotected, there was no telling what could come across her. And that thought was a thousand times more frightening than her rejection.

"InuYasha?"

His ears perked at her voice, but he didn't look up or straighten from his protective crouch. She stepped out from behind the trees. Still, he did not move. She came closer until she was standing before him. He could not face her, not after what he'd stolen from her. Silence invaded his senses. He started to twitch.

"InuYasha." Kagome kneeled before him, close enough to touch but he wouldn't allow himself that luxury, it was the last thing he deserved.

Kagome's heart broke as she watched his uncharacteristic behavior. He looked forlorn, all but broken and she knew she'd do anything to change that, even if it meant baring her soul before him.

"InuYasha… Miroku and Sango… they didn't mean to blame you." Sighing, she leaned into his side. He flinched at the contact. "What happened wasn't your fault."

"The hell it isn't."

"It isn't!" Her tone began to ride with righteous indignation. It was something he admired about her, her ability to fight so passionately for what she believed in. But this time, he knew she was mistaken. "You didn't do anything wrong!"

"All I know is that you didn't fuck yourself, Kagome!"

She gasped, eyes going huge as she jerked away from his side to stare at him in shock. InuYasha thought she'd yell… she seemed to be mad enough, or perhaps leave him all together like he deserved. But none of that happened. One second she was glaring daggers, the next Kagome had thrown hers into his arms.

"I love you," she declared earnestly, clutching his head to her chest desperately. "I love you! I love you, I love you, I love you…"

Bewildered, InuYasha managed to chock out her name.

She buried her face in his hair, kissing the top of his head. "It doesn't matter about my miko powers," Kagome continued, her grip relaxing to a gentle caress. Her hands fluttered over his back, his head, his ears, bringing him comfort he knew he didn't deserved. "I got along fine without them before, so why should now be any different?"

He knew she was trying to convince him of that fact as much as she was trying to convince herself. InuYasha shuddered but couldn't tear himself from her embrace.

"If that was the price for proving how much I love you," she continued, "then so be it. It was worth every last drop of my powers."

That was the last straw. He couldn't take anymore, the guilt was killing him from the inside out. InuYasha pulled away from the girl and looked at her, long and hard. Her beautiful eyes were wide and sincere, questioning his well-being as a watery smile touched her lips. _I don't deserve her._

"Kagome… I don't deserve you."

She frowned, her gaze darkening. "Don't ever say that."

"Keh. Why the hell not if it's tru-".

The weight of her small body colliding with his sent him sprawling backwards and knocked the air from his lungs. She glared down on him, straddling his waist. "I love you."

_Don't… why do you keep saying that._ He cringed, she noticed.

"Are you listening, dog boy? I love you and that's my choice, no one else's. Nothing else matters." Her tone softened and she smiled, a nervous light entering her eyes as she brushed his face with trembling fingers. "So please, don't blame yourself for anything that's happen because I regret nothing."

"Keh. Who says I blamed myself?" InuYasha was more than flustered but struggled to hide it.

Kagome beamed down at him. She stared at his face, her eyes falling to his lips, before a deep blush covered her face. He didn't have time to admire the color, however, because her lips connected hesitantly with the spot seconds later and all thoughts of guilt evaporated.

-TBC

_Author's Note: This chapter proved to be very problematic and although I'm somewhat disappointed with how it came out, the best way for me to continue the story was push this chapter out. More chapter to come soon… more plot too._


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